Thursday, March 30, 2006

Zombies

I have oft spoken of the need for the Defense Against Zombies Act, which would require the removal of teeth or dental fixtures from any deceased person prior to burial. This would ensure that any reincarnation event would be minimally disruptive, as zombies are fundamentally useless without a means of biting the non-undead. In the post-911 world, we can't be too careful.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

My new religion - Antitheism

So, I've decided that I'm no longer content with being a simple atheist. I used to be a Roman Catholic. Then I was a poor Roman Catholic, followed by an agnostic, then an athiest. Ultimately, the more I learned, the less religious I felt. There was a time when the very idea of religion didn't bother me. To each their own. Well, screw that. Human society is in danger of descending into the dark ages again, and it's time we atheists took back rational thought, and demanded it of others. A war on Christianity? Hell, yes! And then on to Muslims and every other Hebrew sect. Don't forget the Hindus or even the Zoroastrians (sorry Freddie). The Rastafari will be spared for the time being. They're fun to hang out with. So, watch out religious people of the world! We've declared pre-emptive war, and we're not going to stand for your shit any longer. So help me god!